do you remember in your parents’ house, or your grandparents’ house, that cupboard of china or fine silver “only for special occasions” - either it has a designated holiday like christmas or thanksgiving, or it just kind of sits there, half-display and half-forgotten.
i used to save stuff all the time - saving a perfume, or wine, or outfit, for a special occasion. either the perfume went off or the wine got corked or the clothes no longer fit. my point is - things happen. life happens.
i had spent so much time “saving” nice bottles of wine, or outfits, that when life got in the way and i ended up having to put my things in storage (spoiler!) i had to give away most of my wine, and leave most of my clothes and bags behind. i keep thinking of the bottle of Summer in a Bottle i bought over christmas at the wölffer vineyard in the hamptons and meant to drink this summer, but never got to. i think about my favorite Cotswolds gin that i found in a store in dumbo (probably the only place in brooklyn that carried it) after going to dumbo house one night in december when i spent christmas by myself in the city. i carried it home beaming.
do you realize, though, that what i’m describing are mostly memories?
Marie Cheslik, a sommelier and founder of the wine education company Slik Wines, made a tiktok where she asked, “when do you drink that fancy bottle of wine? the one you spent far too much money on, that sits in the back of your fridge.”
i’ve been really head-down studying for my wset exam, which is right after labor day, and i’m also trying to practice active recall by looking at wine labels and lists. the point is - i had finished the unit on italy. i found the wine in wine fridge, where it’s been sitting since the start of 2020. there’s never any italian wine lying around, so i opened it without thinking.
one sip later, i looked at the label again and was aghast. i was drinking a 2014 Fattoria Cerreto Libri 'Liber' Rosso di Toscana IGT - in layman speak, a declassified Chianti from the most prestigious subzone of Chianti DOCG, Rufina. a Chianti needs to be aged for a long time - and this was perfect, after 9 years of age. it’s not the most expensive wine in the world, but it’s not a “friday night after studying italy, trying to sample something from tuscany” kind of wine.
i keep thinking about what Marie Cheslik says - and some of the comments left on the tiktok. i think that sometimes, when we “save” things like wine, and fine china and silver dinnerware, we afford them a mythic status. they become their own untouchable thing. every occasion is measured up to its mythos: is today special enough to use this? to justify this? to pull out the fine china?
what is more important, is that when i think of the day i bought a bottle of wine, the day i opened it, or the day i wore a particular outfit - i remember who i was with, where we were, what we were doing. the wine, the outfit, the perfume is part of the fabric of the day’s memory. it is woven tightly into my memory of the day. when i think of the Zimmermann dress i wore at my best friend’s big fiction reading at an old arts club in the village, and wore again at my birthday dinner, it is the days i think about. it is the birthday, it is the room. it is the getting to her apartment early to help her lace up her corset, it is not wanting to take the subway in heels and so wearing docs. it is my closest loved ones at the french restaurant in williamsburg on my last birthday.
i’ve always said that you’re meant to make memories in clothing. a piece’s meaning is supplanted by their memories - nothing is a favorite piece just by sitting in your closet. it’s associated with all the good luck, the good dates, the parties, the days in the park that came with it.
when i donate a piece of clothing, or give it to someone else, i always tell myself “it’s for someone else to make memories in.” objects, like clothes, have so many lives and take on so many meanings for each owner in each life. the objects are talismans.
my mother is trying to buy new wine glasses after some of her Schott Zweisel crystal burgundy glasses shattered. i found these glasses that resemble Zaltos (the world’s nicest crystal wine glasses) - they’re not claiming to be the real Zaltos, and nothing can compare to the experience of drinking from a real Zalto, but they’re awfully similar. the point being, my mom was upset when her zwiesel crystal glasses broke. if a fake Zalto breaks, it was a fraction of the cost. what matters is that her friends can raise their wine glasses, and clink them, and bring them up and down stairs, and into rooms. the zweisels are maybe for the fine china cabinet. the fake Zaltos are for the friends.
for risk of sounding like a Kay’s Jewelers ad or a hallmark card, nothing is as precious as the memories we make with our friends, or in a city, or by ourselves. a bottle of wine, on its own, however expensive or coveted, is an object. our lives suffuse objects with meaning. the opposite is just inaccurate.